At the Party with the Physicists

One day, all of the world’s famous physicists decided to get together for a party (there were some non-physicists too who crashed the party). Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and was able to observe some of the guests…

• Everyone gravitated towards Newton, but he just kept moving around with a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
• Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
• Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
• Cauchy, being a mathematician, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
• Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
• Pauli came late, but was excluded from most things, so he split.
• Pascal was under too much pressure to have fun.
• Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere’s opinions on current events.
• Volta thought that the gathering had a lot of potential.
• Heisenberg might or might not have been there.
• Feynman got from the door to the buffet table by taking every possible path.
• The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
• Van der Waal forced himself to mingle.
• Milikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
• deBroglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
• Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
• Everyone was attracted towards Tesla’s magnetic personality.
• Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
• Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
• Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
• Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
• Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
• Oppenheimer got bombed.
• The microwave started radiating in the background when Penzias and Wilson showed up.
• After one bite Chandrasekhar reached his limit.
• Gamow left the party early with a big bang while Hoyle stayed late in a steady state.
• For Schrödinger, this was more a wave function rather than a social function.
• Erdos was said no epsilons were invited.
• Born thought the probability of enjoying himself was pretty high.
• Instead of coming through the front door, Josephson tunnelled through.
• Pauling wanted to bond with everyone.
• Shakespeare could not decide whether to be or not to be at the party.
• Pavlov brought his dog; which promptly chased Schrödinger’s cat.
• Bill Gates came to install windows.
• Mendeleyev beautifully laid out the food on the periodic table.
• Riemann hypothesised about who would arrive next; to which Newton retorted, “Hypothesis non fingo.”
• Chadwick was handing out neutrons free of charge.
• Everyone was amazed at Bell’s inequality.
• Watson and Crick danced the double helix.
• While Fermat sang, “Save the Last Theorem for Me.”